My Niqab

Quite recently, I've started to put on the niqab. In Malaysia, niqab is not that prevalent. Although most of the muslim women do cover their hair, still... muslim women covering their full aurat is quite sparse. It's quite challenging wearing the niqab. Wherever I go, all eyes are on me (...well anyway that's how I feel) . The worst part is when, sometimes, small kids run away from me because they are scared of me. Look ma...hantu/ghost/zorro/ninja.....Sigh. I really feel bad about this. I do try to smile at them (although they can't see me from behind the veil) hoping that my warm and friendly aura can penetrate thru the niqab. I really don't want to frighten children. I know they do not understand. SubhanALlah, even adults do not understand, then, how can small children be any better?

There are varying reasons why I have decided to put on the niqab. My main belief is that the niqab is a form of sunnah. As much as I feel strongly that eating with my right hand is sunnah, so too, I do believe that covering of my face is sunnah. InsyaAllah, Allah swt has promises that there is success in adhering to Rasulullah saw's sunnah. With each sunnah that a muslim adhere to with istiqamah, Allah swt will grant him/her with 100 rewards of a syahid. Adhering to sunnah is totally alien nowadays. In this world of fasya and mungkar, following the sunnah or the way of rasulullullah saw's life is going against all that everyone else believe in. It is like swimming upstream against the flowing river. In fact, in a hadith, rasullullah saw has prophesized and told his sahabah that there will be a time when following the sunnah is like holding on to a burning wood fire.

Dikeluarkan oleh Abu Hakim daripada Ibnu Mas'ud ra sebagaimana dalam Kanzul Ummal dan Jami'us Saghir Rasulullah saw bersabda mafhumnya " Org yg berpegang kepada sunnahku di zaman perselisihan ummatku adalah seperti org yg menggenggam bara api" (Hayatus Sahabah Jilid 1 versi Melayu)

Truly, what rasulullah saw said applies to our time now. We are the "umat akhir zaman".

Everyday, we can see muslim women wearing skimpy clothing. In fact, in newspaper, magazines and tv, some muslim women wear very little clothing. However, nobody bats an eye at this. I bet no one will run away from these ladies and call them names...Look ma...almost naked lady! In fact, knowing the boys, I bet they will try to inch closer to get a better look at what is on display.

I bear no grudges to these semi-clothed ladies or the public who look down upon people who choose to cover their face. After all, this is my battle...my jihad. I am doing this first and foremost for myself. For my iman. It is said that adhering to sunnah is likened to a shield. A protection for our iman. The more sunnah that we practise in our life, the stronger the shield that you built for your iman.

When i first started to put on the niqab, I was overly conscious. Fearing that all of my actions are under close scrutiny by the misunderstood/misinformed public. I chose to stay indoors. Feeling that my iman is too weak to face any criticism from anyone, I felt that it is best if I stay clear of the general public. Closing myself off from even friends and family. In fact, I barely venture out of my home. Even to step off my front lawn to water the plants or hang my laundry became such a chore. Somehow, I've become pseudo-agoraphobic ( is there such a word). My hubby was at his wits end. Suddenly his outdoorsy and independent wife has become sooo timid and introverted. What to do??? I guess I kinda put my hubby through quite a rough couple of months.

Alhamdulillah, as days passed by...slowly ALlah swt gave me understanding. It is not important that people around me do not understand the niqab. It is true...tidak kenal maka tidak cinta. Before this, I used to feel the same way about the niqab. I am helpless to change the public's opinion. Only ALlah has power to do this. I am the person who must first change. Granted, I am wearing the niqab as a journey for my iman...but to have peace with my niqab, I must also understand that I should wear my niqb with pride. Not because I feel that I am far better off than the average muslim women...NO...I must feel proud because I have been blessed that Allah swt has shown me to this path. So, it is my duty to wear the niqab in public. To show to the rest of the people that it is not an ugly and fearful clothing. To show that I am just an ordinary person..yet I put on the niqab. Not because I am superior in knowledge or amal. But because it helps me to control my eyes and my attitude. It helps me to be wary (tawajjuh) of ALlah swt. To reinforce in me the idea that ALlah swt is ever watchful of me.

Thus, it is sad but true...I am just an average muslim lady. Battling everyday against my personal weaknesses and devils. My hubby said, we aredefinitely not the best of people...But everyday, we strive to better ourselves. Sometimes we fault and err but, we try outmost to never give up. After all, we are weak insans covered with much sin. Only ALlah is Most Rahman and Most Rahim. He understands and helps us through the bumps and dips in our journey. Life is too short. Barely seconds compared to the infinite akhirah. Who knows when my number will be up. Hopefully, through this small effort on my part, I pray that I shall obtain ALlah swt's benevolence. Insya ALlah. AMin.