Fikir Sesaat

Masya ALlah, semenjak dua menjak nie...saya sibuk bangat sihhh. Maaf ye, tak sempat pun nak catch up dan baca entry kawan2 apalagi nak buat entri sendiri. Still, malam nie, saya paksa diri utk duduk dan tulis at least satu dua perenggan supaya blog saya nie tak jadi outdated & bersawang...hehehe.

Sebenarnya, saya dah mula buat part-time teaching. Ehmmm...kat tempat dulu jugak. Masa resign dulu mmg tak terlintas langsung nak buat part-time nie. Iyalah, pengurusan rumah pun masih kelam kabut. Masih amatur dan banyak kerja yg perlu diperbaiki. Tapi memandangkan permintaan & rayuan kawan2 & ex-boss, maka rasa macam sombong pulak kalau asyik buat pekakkan telinga je atas permintaan2 mereka. Lagipun, susah jugak, everytime depa call rumah atau h/p saya terpaksa ignore atau reject call. Tak elok benar akhlak & muasyarat kalau dah macam tu. Depa memang desperate sgt sebab kekeurangan tenaga pengajar. Students pulak semakin bertambah. Kesian jugak depa. Lagipun part-time ini cuma 1-2 jam aje untuk 4 hari.

Org dah berhajat sesangat. InsyAllah, kalau kita dapat tunaikan hajat seorg muslim, maka Allah akan beri ganjaran seperti kita beriktikaf 10 tahun di masjid. Di mana, satu malam sahaja kita beriktikaf di masjid,maka ALlah akan jarakkan kita sejauh 3 parit dari api neraka. Dimana, jarak di antara satu parit adalah sejauh langit & bumi. Cubalah bayangkan betapa jauhnya kita dijarakkan dr api neraka. Hmmm...hebat tu. Tapi kena setting niat betul2. Buat kerja mesti kerana ALlah. Ishhh...susah tu. Tiap2 kalai terlintas aje bisikan2 syaitan, sy kena cepat istighfar. Maklumlah, sy ni mudah kalah dgn tarikan dunia. Bila kaki dah melangkah keluar rumah, maka angan2 pun dah jauh melayang...konon2 nya bercita2 tinggi tapi sebenarnya ia hanyalah tali yg menjerat leher sendiri. Istighfar...istighfar

Maka bermulalah episod saya mengajar. Siapalah sangka...saya dpt mengajar dlm keadaan berpurdah...di institusi pengajian tinggi swasta yg tak kurang hebatnya di Malaysia ini. Allahuakbar. Jika ALlah sudah menetapkan, maka pasti ia akan berlaku. Masa mula2 tu mmg saya sesgt2 cuak. Bolehke budak2 siswa/siswi ini terima cara pengajaran sy yg berpurdah? Adakah cara sy menutup aurat ini akan menimbulkan barrier? Akan kurangkah kualiti penyampaian sy nanti? Susah sy nak lelapkan mata pada malam sebelum kuliah itu. Berbagai2 perkara yg terlintas dlm kotak fikiran saya. Dapatkah sy kekuatan utk menyampaikan kuliah dlm keadaan yg berpurdah? Sanggup ke? Ish...kenapa lah sy bodoh sgt memberi persetujuan utk membantu?

Mmg first lecture tu jantung saya berdegup2 mcm nak luruh! Sebelum kuliah bermula, sy beri sedikit intro. Sy beritahu mereka bahawa sy berniat ikhlas utk membantu. Jika mereka rasa janggal atau susah nak terima pengajaran sy, maka sy akan tarik diri. It's a trial period for both me & the students. Alhamdulillah, sebenarnya, Allah jua yg dpt memberi kefahaman kpd pelajar2 itu semua. Sya buat yg terbaik & di akhir kuliah, sy meminta maklum balas dr pelajar2. Mereka semua berpuas hati. Tiada yg merasa ada apa2 kekurangan dlm pembelajaran mrk di dlm kuliah yg sy sampaikan. MasyaALlah...rupanya ALlah nak lihat usaha & keazaman sy. ALlah nak uji setakat mana sy sanggup mempertahankan pakaian sunnah sy.

Begitulah kisah yg telah berlaku. Kini, telah genap 2 minggu sy mengendalikan kelas itu. InsyaALlah, azam kami, semoga cara sy ini dpt menjadi syiar dan membuka minda pelajar2 itu utk mereka mula memikirkan matlamat kehidupan mrk. The fact remains...What is the purpose of our life? Kenapa kita wujud di muka bumi ini? Adakah sekadar utk mengejar cita2 dan menghimpunkan harta, pangkat & nama? Mafhum sebuah hadis nabi Muhammad saw - Sedetik kita berfikir atas agama dlm diri kita maka adalah lebih baik dari ibadat sunat 60 tahun. Marilah kita fikir2kan arah & tujuan hidup kita di bumi yg fana ini.

Beautiful Hijab SOng

Book Review

Currently, I am trying to finish the book Secrets of Secrets by Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jilani. Actually, it was written by the great Sufi but it was translated into English. I am of course, reading the English version. I actually picked up the book because the translator put a nice intro on the book's back cover. According to the translator, reading the book helps us to gain spiritual knowledge and purpose in our everyday ibadaat. This is so that our ibadat will be increased manyfold...so that it will not just be a routine of our life but an exercise which will strengthen our love and brings us closer to our Benefactor - Allah. Well, the reading has been slow. As I am only able to read a few pages at night before bedtime, the book will probably take me more than 2 weeks to finish. ALbeit the book is relatively thin.

As I was reading, I seem to ponder that the level of English in the book is quite abstract and high-level. It makes the writing very difficult to understand. Of course, taking into mind the fact that it has been quite some time since I've read anything else besides fiction. Thus, I am seeking help from fellow bloggers to recommend simpler books on spirituality and religion for me. Fyi, I have almost zero background in Islamic Thoughts and Revelations. I envy those people who were chosen and blessed to have the opportunity to have Islamic theology as their basic education. Thus, the knowledge that they gain while growing up, is 100% relevant to this world and the world hereafter. In fact, these fortunate people have the added opportunity/bonus to share their knowledge with other lesser mortals.

Alas, my pace of reading these genre of books is appaling. While reading,I feel especially bad that I have yet to get the opportunity to increase my understanding of the Quran. Apparently, according to Sheikh Abdul Qadir, the Qurans has 10 layers of understanding. 10 layers - Even the uppermost layer of understanding eludes me. In conclusion, I guess that's what I get from reading this book. It gave me some time to reflect on how ignorant I am.