Saturday, January 17, 2009

My Niqab


Quite recently, I've started to put on the niqab. In Malaysia, niqab is not that prevalent. Although most of the muslim women do cover their hair, still... muslim women covering their full aurat is quite sparse. It's quite challenging wearing the niqab. Wherever I go, all eyes are on me (...well anyway that's how I feel) . The worst part is when, sometimes, small kids run away from me because they are scared of me. Look ma...hantu/ghost/zorro/ninja.....Sigh. I really feel bad about this. I do try to smile at them (although they can't see me from behind the veil) hoping that my warm and friendly aura can penetrate thru the niqab. I really don't want to frighten children. I know they do not understand. SubhanALlah, even adults do not understand, then, how can small children be any better?

There are varying reasons why I have decided to put on the niqab. My main belief is that the niqab is a form of sunnah. As much as I feel strongly that eating with my right hand is sunnah, so too, I do believe that covering of my face is sunnah. InsyaAllah, Allah swt has promises that there is success in adhering to Rasulullah saw's sunnah. With each sunnah that a muslim adhere to with istiqamah, Allah swt will grant him/her with 100 rewards of a syahid. Adhering to sunnah is totally alien nowadays. In this world of fasya and mungkar, following the sunnah or the way of rasulullullah saw's life is going against all that everyone else believe in. It is like swimming upstream against the flowing river. In fact, in a hadith, rasullullah saw has prophesized and told his sahabah that there will be a time when following the sunnah is like holding on to a burning wood fire.

Dikeluarkan oleh Abu Hakim daripada Ibnu Mas'ud ra sebagaimana dalam Kanzul Ummal dan Jami'us Saghir Rasulullah saw bersabda mafhumnya " Org yg berpegang kepada sunnahku di zaman perselisihan ummatku adalah seperti org yg menggenggam bara api" (Hayatus Sahabah Jilid 1 versi Melayu)

Truly, what rasulullah saw said applies to our time now. We are the "umat akhir zaman".

Everyday, we can see muslim women wearing skimpy clothing. In fact, in newspaper, magazines and tv, some muslim women wear very little clothing. However, nobody bats an eye at this. I bet no one will run away from these ladies and call them names...Look ma...almost naked lady! In fact, knowing the boys, I bet they will try to inch closer to get a better look at what is on display.

I bear no grudges to these semi-clothed ladies or the public who look down upon people who choose to cover their face. After all, this is my battle...my jihad. I am doing this first and foremost for myself. For my iman. It is said that adhering to sunnah is likened to a shield. A protection for our iman. The more sunnah that we practise in our life, the stronger the shield that you built for your iman.

When i first started to put on the niqab, I was overly conscious. Fearing that all of my actions are under close scrutiny by the misunderstood/misinformed public. I chose to stay indoors. Feeling that my iman is too weak to face any criticism from anyone, I felt that it is best if I stay clear of the general public. Closing myself off from even friends and family. In fact, I barely venture out of my home. Even to step off my front lawn to water the plants or hang my laundry became such a chore. Somehow, I've become pseudo-agoraphobic ( is there such a word). My hubby was at his wits end. Suddenly his outdoorsy and independent wife has become sooo timid and introverted. What to do??? I guess I kinda put my hubby through quite a rough couple of months.

Alhamdulillah, as days passed by...slowly ALlah swt gave me understanding. It is not important that people around me do not understand the niqab. It is true...tidak kenal maka tidak cinta. Before this, I used to feel the same way about the niqab. I am helpless to change the public's opinion. Only ALlah has power to do this. I am the person who must first change. Granted, I am wearing the niqab as a journey for my iman...but to have peace with my niqab, I must also understand that I should wear my niqb with pride. Not because I feel that I am far better off than the average muslim women...NO...I must feel proud because I have been blessed that Allah swt has shown me to this path. So, it is my duty to wear the niqab in public. To show to the rest of the people that it is not an ugly and fearful clothing. To show that I am just an ordinary person..yet I put on the niqab. Not because I am superior in knowledge or amal. But because it helps me to control my eyes and my attitude. It helps me to be wary (tawajjuh) of ALlah swt. To reinforce in me the idea that ALlah swt is ever watchful of me.

Thus, it is sad but true...I am just an average muslim lady. Battling everyday against my personal weaknesses and devils. My hubby said, we aredefinitely not the best of people...But everyday, we strive to better ourselves. Sometimes we fault and err but, we try outmost to never give up. After all, we are weak insans covered with much sin. Only ALlah is Most Rahman and Most Rahim. He understands and helps us through the bumps and dips in our journey. Life is too short. Barely seconds compared to the infinite akhirah. Who knows when my number will be up. Hopefully, through this small effort on my part, I pray that I shall obtain ALlah swt's benevolence. Insya ALlah. AMin.

24 comments:

Nur Solehah said...

Subhanallah sis!! You've made a very brilliant decision by wearing niqab. Your story remind me when i was started a niqab. very challenging and painful experience but it's priceless. This painful experience made me stronger and more mature. If our intention is correct that is to please our Lord, all of these trials, pain, sadness, depression will be our happiness because insyaAllah Allah Almighty will be pleased with us. yea you are correct, when we go outside we will catch the attention of the crowd. Although it's almost 2 years since i wear niqab, i still feel uncomfortable with the stares. Feel like hiding myself somewhere behind my family members. people often call the niqabis batman/ninja/ghost but now i got used to it. i find some kids they are smiling to me. they don't afraid of me? how weird is that? I smile to them back but of course they can't see but i guess they know i'm smiling coz they can see it through my eyes. yea, you are right too when u say we wear this dress code not because we are better than other Muslimah but because we want to follow the footsteps of the Prophet's wives and the believing women at that time. I want to congratulate you for your very brave step to practice the sunnah in your entire life InsyaAllah. remember that we are holding burning coals and it is painful but don't ever let it go. Fight for it! i would like to invite you to my other blog http://www.islam-is-beautiful.blogspot.com/ for better understanding on niqab(but i guess you already understand it =) I know i am youngerrrr than you but we share the same feeling. I love you for the sake of Allah. Stay strong sis! I'm here if you need me..

Nur Solehah said...

ooppss sorry, i just realized that you already explored my blog...hehehe anyhow, i will try to keep that blog updated insyaAllah. and sorry for my poor English... *kisses*

Suzi said...

salam ...tahniah kak....bilalah saya pula??....doa2kan juga ye...

ain said...

salam da...Insyaallah satu hari nanti, aku pun nak berubah mcm nko. Semoga Allah beri hidayah dan petunjuk, membukakan hati aku dan melorongkan aku ke jalanNya.

p/s Happy belated anniversary..!!! Aku doakan semoga Allah melipatgandakan limpahan kasih sayangNya kepada nko and suami. Aku nyer anniversary June..lama lagi.

TaminDhari said...

Salam tu Saiful... taskel dia untuk khususi ke blog tamindhari.blogspot.com

Pesan Eldest semasa di Nizamuddin; Masturat bagaikan sebuah pintu di rumah, bila diusahakan atas Agama akan memudahkan agama masuk ke dalam rumah, jika tidak diusahakan atas agama... sukar untuk agama masuk ke rumah...

Rozanna Dakwat, Iman Masbot, Amal Masbot. Bohot doa, Allah karaste abb..Dunia or Akhirat kimyabi, Deen ki andar...

24/08/09 Johr student di markas, insyaAllah Dr Hanim akan hadir, Usahakan seramai mungkin stdudent UTP hadir...

UmmuSarah said...

Nur,
Alhamdulillah, it is priceless to find friends due to ALlah..bertemu, berpisah dan berkasih sayang kerana Allah swt. Insya ALlah, although younger in years you are still my elder in experience.

Suzi,
InsyaALlah, segalanya berkemungkinan. Allah yg mengatur segalanya. Semoga Allah pilih kita & keluarga kita utk buat usaha dakwah lagi dan lagi hingga kita tiada lagi.

Sahabatku Ain,
selagi ada keinginan dlm diri kita, pasti ALlah swt akan buka jalanNya. Tiada apa istimewanya kami ini. In fact, kami lah yg paling daif dan kerdil. Paling banyak buat dosa...Sememangnya segala berlaku atas pilihan Allah.

TaminDhari...karkun Ipoh? InsyaALlah...sy sampaikan pesan pd suami. Tolong doakan utk usaha students di sini. Kami lemah.

Solehah said...

sis, i want to ask for your permission to publish your niqab story on my blog. http://islam-is-beautiful.blogspot.com/ hope to hear from you soon

Nur Solehah

Asha said...

Salaam Sister,

I came across your blog and I must commend you on your efforts on wearing the niqab. I am still thinking about wearing a niqab and had been giving a lot of excuses for not wearing it soon. MasyaAllah! InsyaAllah your post will give me the strength to use it. Thank you for it!

UmmuSarah said...

solehah,

U r more than welcome to use my article in ur blog :)
Hopefully, it'll help another muslimah in her decision to put on her niqab. InsyAllah

Asha,

Thanks for visiting. When I first started to consider putting on the niqab, I searched throughout the internet to look for other Muslimah's experiences. Alhamdulillah, some were quite helpful.

Solehah said...

thx sis, may i know where did you buy your niqab?

UmmuNurul said...

Menjadi ninja, zoro, or whatever orang kata..ia ada sesuatu yang paling mahal apabila kita mula belajar untuk menjadikannya benar2 mahal dan berharga! Tahniahlah, sebab bertambahnya lagi insan menemani aku..moga Allah akan jumpa kita di sana..

izat said...

Assalamualaikum.. salam perkenalan..saya izat ahlia mutakalim.. kenal kak ummusarah dr kak suzi(ahlia abg ben)..

Alhamdullillah Allah kasi akak kekuatan nak pakai niqab.. saya ni 'bdk br belajar'... dok fail memanjang..pakai purdah pun masa kuar(tupun br tiga kali kuar masturat masa dok utara)& pi taklim kat selatan( dah setahun pindah selatan, tu pun br sekali-teruk betul.. ). Tp dr 3+1 kali pakai purdah tu dlm takut2 nak pakai sbnrnya bila pakai terasa aura ketenangan, safe, & rendah dr..( tu saya rasalah ).. mmg ada simpan azam nak pakai tp kekuatan takde lagi.. byk doa untuk saya ye..insya Allah..

KakChik @ Sis. Niza said...

assalamualaikum kak.
i stumbled upon your blog from miss abaya. congrats sis for your choice to wear the niqab and wear it proudly. i'm a niqabi too and have been observing niqab for almost 13 years now, alhamdulillah Allah has help me a lot in my journey. may Allah helps you too.
salam ukhuwah fillah from kota bharu.

Ahliahnizam said...

Assalammualaikum wrt wbt .....

Subhanallah!. Kak,saya tumpang bangga dengan akak. Saya dulu PERNAH pakai purdah, then bila mak mertua saya dok ngan saya since ayah mertua saya meninggal, terus dah tak pakai lagi dah. *Astaghfirullah*.

Saya tak salahkan mak mertua saya, tapi IMAN saya yang LEMAH sebenarnya.
Kak, doakan saya dapat amal pakai purdah lagi ye kak ....

umamah said...

Salam alaik ukhtii..

How are you? May Allah bless you and your family, amiin ya Rob. I came across your blog, and mashaaAllah, it amazed me so much, made my eyes teary.

Sister in Islam, I am Bruneian. I wish to wear niqab too. I only wear it when I go to the masjid. However, I have problem wearing it in my university coz they dont allow me to wear it. They said 'Don't try to rise problem here.' and 'You try to wear it. If you see many negative reactions, so take it off.' I'm so sad with their answers.

Sister, I want istiqomah wearing niqab. My university reopens in august, please do pray for me so everything will go smoothly. Many guys in my university always disturb me especially the married guys. In my class, I have to do many presentations. I have to face guys. I dont feel comfortable.

Sister, please advise me. I am 22 years old, trying to be a true practicing-muslimah..

Anonymous said...

as salaamh alaikum

i enjot you blog. inshallah i plan on wearing the veil for the whole month of ramadan and inshallah when school stadts. with that being said im wondering if color has an issue with people not accepting the niqab. I have a theory that certain colors does strike fear in some people and add bad adhab than one has trouble. Black is a dark color~ most people see it and associate it with sadness, goth, cold, mean. where as yellow is bright, cheering, pink is sweet, light blue is airy and white is peaceful. i've worn niqab in ths past and when i wore colors people were more acceptable than when i wore all black. They come up and talk to me, children werent afriad of the woman behing the light blue niqab. what if, all the niqabs not living in Saudi or gulf country were to wear a colorful niqab for one week, would there be a social change of views, what if for that one week a niqabi goes to a shelter and donates in her colorful niqab. what if she join a club at school to make a change.

ukhti syikin said...

Alhamdulillah ... sis, i want to ask for your permission to publish your niqab story on my blog.http://mrsjaja.blogspot.com/ hope to hear from you soon,

Anonymous said...

Sorry for asking, but does your husband has two wifes? Are you the first or second wife?

Anonymous said...

You wrote a very interesting article. And I agree with you. hair loss

Nusrath Jahan said...

Assalamualaikum wrb Sis. Alhamdulillah I feel really happy to come across your blog and read your experience. We all when through the same test or rather similar.
Like Allah says will we not test you when you say u belief?
you are so true to say that we are holding on to coal by embracing this beautiful way of life/the Niqab. Alhamdulillah. May Allahs mercy and blessings and rewards shower upon us. We are not deserving but Allah is surely merciful and generous Insyallah. We are no perfect humans but we strive to be the best of our Ability and be one of the best of Travelers in this short Journey. May Allah keep guiding us to Siraatul Mustaqeem. Ameen
We hope for Allahs mercy and may he not leave us even in a duration of an eye blink and correct our total condition because besides Allah there is no one else worthy of worship and we can only seek his mercy and forgiveness and his guidance alone.

Ameen

BeautyMuslimWoman said...

Assalamualaykum dear sis
I love ur writing about niqab here.shokran

Anonymous said...

assalamualaikom! are u doing the effort of tabligh? u sound so much like meaning i can smell the time of nabi s.a.w..sunnah and tabligh effort are inseparable! i am a revert frm Singapore, who is a niqabi too, alhamdulilah! mashallah very happy to know u!

Anonymous said...

by the way this my email add pls drop me a salam..i can't find your email add..jazakhallah!

from singapore..

shyamaa@ymail.com

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